No More Forks in the Road

Words and memories are shapeshifting in my head

They aren’t like they were 

And so I have no basis to move forward

Nothing means anything 

But I’m not saying anything new 

It’s just that everything seems more real when it actually happens

I wonder if that means I’m self-centered and lack empathy 

That I must experience something for it to seem valid 

Only the sadness is real 

No one really cares

Except for the ones who I avoid talking to 

About the actual stuff 

About the stuff that makes me so fucking sad that I want to rip out these mercurial, unreliable mirages in my mind that are driving me towards the absolution that will cease to exist when I’m close enough to see it