False Casanova

Backpedal,

For a moment, I forgot who I am

I forgot what I am worth

I forgot that I can stand

That I can run, that I bleed

That you are nothing to me

That I gave you an inch, and you took miles from me

 

And my heart is no plaything,

With which you can continue to toy

And you think you’re so slick in this game,

you think you’re so coy

 

But I am the Queen Bitch

I will forget you, quick fix

Like sand, you will dissolve

And I won’t even blink

 

Oh, you think I need you?

Think I can’t make it by?

Think I need you to hold me?

Wipe my tears, tell me lies?

 

Well fuck you and your delusions,

I will prosper on this throne

my body doesn’t mind the cold,

my tears dry on their own.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Eve: 2 Seconds Post-Bite 

I am made of mistakes and anticipation,

Of regret and hopes of salvation,

Of a kind of loneliness that won’t dissolve,

the kind of guilt that can’t be absolved

 

I am woven of timidness,

Of the inability to decline,

I offer myself to monsters,

In hopes they won’t oblige

 

Because I am scattered everywhere,

I lie in pieces, so thin

And I can’t recall a time content,

In a sentience that feels so grim

 

Yes, I am not now nor then

Nor will I ever be,

I float like dust particles in the air

(The ones that you can scarcely see)

 

And I hurt from the inside out,

I want to scream and cry

I want to be seen and heard and felt

But my body simply lies

My tongue lay limp in my mouth

My eyes submissively recline

I breathe and beg my body cope

But my stubborn lungs decline

 

I am made of paranoia and smoke

Of black thoughts and shame

The sort of jaded soul at which you poke

The sort that’s easy to blame

I am a blend of nausea and withdrawal

Of plague, sickness, and inconclusive reigns

I am a creature that howls and crawls

In the safe shadows under an onyx plain

 

And I am everything I vowed never to become

Everything I claimed to loathe once

I am she who’s pain I mocked before I dared endure

For though knowledge satisfies, it cunningly vanquishes the pure.

Naught 

craving your hot breath, sticky 

wet, but with feelings too 

All in this time

emersed in it, completely intertwined

Endless, quicker though

because we couldn’t help rushing through

you’re fucking beautiful

and I almost can’t take it 

keep breathing on me, hot and heavy 

drown me 

I need it 

you’re not here though 

and my skin longs for your mouth 

for your hot breath, sticky 

where my mind dreams a thousand delicious dreams,

your absence confines me.

Tremor

Hand tremor,

I shake.

You did this,

how dare you bend what you knew would break?

Haunt me,

and I simply cannot rest anymore.

Broken,

this can’t be what minds are made for;

to scream and wonder and yell and knock,

to pinch and prod and snicker and rot.

And although I know

that sentience is a pendulum

that rocks and sways,

it seems there is a constant,

one thing that doesn’t go away.

For though my mind

will refuse to dwell,

will repress any memory (lest it begin to swell),

there is a constant,

a pesky remain,

it is my hand

— which continues to shake.

 

 

Weakness

Put my finger in the mouth of flames

Further in, so I can feel the heat 

Her tongue tastes of ambrosia

I can feel the warmth inside her,

She is tender and pure

And I want more

She burns me as she draws me closer, and this fever is the best kind

For she is woven of flames and desire,

Of seduction and fire,

And I know I shouldn’t, my whole body ablaze

But she’s too close to deny, and her eyes are a maze

So I guide her through my pleasure,

through my pleasure and my pain

All the while reminding her of the peril in this game

And now I lie satisfied, a pile of ash

For though water is my sustenance,

Fire is my weakness.

 

 

 

 

Heart Based Plot Twist 

Powdered intricacy, you feel so smooth

Gentle, and you knew I needed you

Felt it, I felt it through and through

Breathing, an effortless, transparent hue 

Scrunching, you’re soft and nice and rough,

I feel your soul — silky, jagged to the touch

Find myself in amber eyes, I see so much

And I do like you, not a lot, but just enough.

Strange, I feel it growing, my affinity for you

(And if I can tell you anything about the prettiest boy,

It is that he tasted of velvet candy and truth.)

Transition//

Marlboro reds and spearmint,

some sort of cologne?

Had his arm around me,

why’d I feel so alone?

I think it’s you, I’m thinking about you

And you are the context,

the fabric of all that I do,

of what I think,

of who I am,

the very core of me.

And I keep breaking the rules,

over and over,

in the absence of you,

for you,

you.

And do you want me now?

You seem to want me now.

Now that I’m close enough,

to touch

Will you touch me now?

want to touch me now?

but I don’t know if I’m the same,

I think I’m quite different now.

I don’t recall,

where and why I began.

And now that you’re finally ready,

I don’t know if I am.